it must be Christmas

Well its not. Hell not. Its just the last blog that I may be able to write for a while, what with my PGL adventure starting soon. So I began to wonder about what was going on in my life realised that apart from the obvious comments (not a lot) there was a few other things going on.

then I realised that most of those achievements involved either facebook or Football Manager, so decided that I wouldn't share those with you (oh by the way, in 2011, Aston Villa will win the Premiership if I become manager). So instead I thought I'd write something completely ludicrous with no basis in the real world whatsoever. Then after writing that I realised that it was, surprisingly, a suicide note.

I took a step back from the computer. Well actually it was more of a slide, because the chair I'm sitting on has wheels. The dog yelped as I nearly ran her over. Did I really want to kill myself? Then I realised my earlier comment. I'd been writing something "completely ludicrous".

I also realised that the note was from someone called 'Mark.' My brother? Did I want my brother to kill himself? Then I realised that second part of my earlier sentence. "with no basis in the real world whatsoever" So whoever I wanted dead was probably a made up character. I have no stories where the lead character is called Mark, so I decided to make one up.

A Lonely Christmas

One day Mark (no relation to me) wrote a note with the pen his dog had dropped at his feet moments before. Realising that it was in fact a suicide note, he decided to kill himself. And so he tried. He ran the water in the bathtub to the top, then took the toaster from downstairs and plugged it in in the bathroom. He closed his eyes and dropped the toaster into the water he was sitting in (fully clothed).

Unfortunately he had not disconnected the earth wire from the plug, which meant the fuse blew and cancelled the electricity. So he decided he didn't want to die and was too silly to do it anyway. But as he stood up is anyone actually reading this? Do you think I've lost my mind? The problem with boredom is that it can take over your life to such a point where you pretty much leave your sanity in the bed you wake up in every day.

I've learnt that in the last couple of weeks, the only time I have felt excited was when my phone started vibrating because a debt collecting company wanted me for something. So from now on I will do something exciting every day, even if it just means writing a completely ludicrous blog with no basis in the real world whatsoever. Apart from that last bit. And this bit. And that bit. And that bit. And that bit.

And this next bit.

Love you all

Phil